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Lately, I’ve been seeing a local girl, but as of yesterday, it seems that the kindness and semi-attraction she showed me were all a farce.
I had really high hopes for a relationship with this girl: she was smart, beautiful, good with cars and my family, and a helluva dancer….but the negative quality I never saw (while others did) was that she was a player of the highest order; a savant of mens’ heartstrings. Yes, some of us guys do feel deep feelings and were not brought up to repress them.

Aaaaanyway, I digress. Back to the story.

Our history has been shaky at best. She’s attended school with me for a long time, but it’s been only recently that I’ve let myself out of the dark long enough to make serious approaches at anyone. She was with a few acquaintances of mine, hopping back and forth among them like a locust among the leaves. I blew into her pile, and while she used me as a perch for a while, there was no love lost for me when she leapt to the next falling leaf.

In real-people-speak, this is what happened:

I started attending swing dance on Thursdays on a whim, and found many reasons to keep coming back. The instruction and dance itself was intoxicating; I felt the bonds of life being taken off my shoulders while I was in that room, learning, fumbling, and finally getting a turn right under the watchful eye of one dance pro or another. She
lit the floor up as she spun, her dress trailing behind her like a shadow veil.

I was hooked…and I had no choice but to ask her to dance. Through the summer weeks that followed, I became more confident in my swing skills, while the attraction I felt to her grew exponentially stronger. We started hanging out regularly and going on in-town dates, and I thought this might blossom into a new relationship between us.

A little bit before school started, she asked to meet me at a park in town in very cryptic terms (“…I’d love to talk to you, if you have the time. Something really important” and the like). I obliged. It was a gorgeous day in late summer, and I felt that nothing could go wrong that day.
It turns out that another ladyfriend of mine who I have a crush on (and who is prolly crushin on me too, but I can only handle one lady at a time please!) ended up cornering the girl I’d been dating and firmly told her to be kind and not break my heart, as she and others cared about me deeply. I was touched by this; no one had ever shown care of that manner to me before, and I said a silent thank-you to the lady in the wings.
The park visit turned into a conversation of what we had going for us, and how she’d like to take things. She asked me to take it slow, and I told her that I preferred doing it that way from the start. She seemed relieved, and our conversation turned to ordinary things.

Fast-forward to around a month later (last week ish). I planned a dinner at my place for just the two of us. The menu was set to be seafood and asparagus, simple yet well made. Then I contracted food poisoning followed by strep, killing the Friday dinner plans dead. I asked her to raincheck it for a week while I healed up, and she agreed.
I was at work the following Wednesday night. Between song requests, I checked up on facebook, and it was there that the last four days’ downward spiral started. She wrote me of (just-remembered) prior plans to be in Albuquerque on our rainchecked date. I was kinda pissed, but it needed to slide. I shot her a message about moving the dinner date to Saturday or Sunday, and received a firm no as a response, as she had made plans for the weekend. That darkened my mood further, but I resolved to chin up and make the best of this situation. “Guess what?” I told myself. “I can work on the car all weekend and get it working well again!”
A good friend needed some emotional support Friday night, so I suggested we head out to the Stage Door and catch a munch. The friend and I arrived at the restaurant, and started talking about the various topics of stuff that bugged us (consisted mostly of things about our “significant others”, as she had just been dumped, and I was in uncharted waters with my lady). About half an hour into the conversation, who but the lady I was enamored with walked out from the back room on the arm of her “special friend” who I had met once previously and about whom I had suspected a deeper connection with my enamorata. Here, we four entered into the classic awkward situation: my good friend, sitting across from me, frozen still in the motions of “OMG” and “quick! Look who’s here!”; the “guy friend” chillin out in the background, and eyeing the situation with a sort of disinterest; my interest, whose eyes were locked in an embarrassed/surprised/”oh shit” sorta manner; and myself, who managed to continue the phone conversation I was in (helping yet another friend out in Houston), munch my food, glance at my good friend at the table with a nonbelieving look, and wave a very fake-looking hello complemented with a smile only God could have turned sincere.

They left, and I wanted to sink through the floor in pain and anger. “So she gives me all this noise about having plans in ALBUQUERQUE, and where do I find her? Sitting around locally with this guy I’ve met before that I know is in love with her! WHAT-THE-FAAAACK!” I scream-whisper to my friend across from me. Damn, that hurt!
This morning, I checked my facebook as usual. Guess what? She had a “magnificent time” with her “sweetie” (coming from a girl who wanted to take it slow, what the hell can this mean except she wanted more time to play the field) last night with the movie-and-a-dinner. Man, words sure get to me.

She could be being totally honest, could’ve gone to a movie up in ABQ early and ate dinner back down here late. She could really have plans for tonight and tomorrow.
Her actions, though, just don’t line up. I’m done with her. Goodbye, good riddance, and I hope you get what you want, flame in the wind.


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