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Tag Archives: women

I’m in a place where light shines and vanishes—

somewhere in a corner of my mind where the perfect SHE exists.

This is not a place dominated by

loneliness

anger

love

It’s merely a place where two people will meet and throw caution to the winds.

As I walk toward her, she extends her arms to me and whispers my name.

Sand buoyed by her breath reaches my humidified skin and dries it of all the

sin

anger

frustration

I’ve lived with since I saw her last. I want to grab her and see if she’s real.

But no one could be as good as this one, so pure and broken, so full and empty,

hidden yet bursting from the shadows like a black-veiled flame.

The fruitless search

the heartless rejection

the painful truth of it all

as my apparition sinks back into the sand and scrub of the earth, leaving me

with one question:

Will I ever find what she means to me?

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Here’s a list of the new wrinkles I gained in my brain today:

  • Fast food is ALWAYS bad for you, regardless if it smells great
  • Mom’s cooking was always amazing
  • Dad’s grilling matched up to it
  • Family is a terrible thing to neglect
  • Balance and symmetry are beautiful
  • Angles yield to curves
  • Dancing is one of the most intimate forms of contact we humans can have
  • I will never, ever, ever understand women or the effects they have on the male half of our species.

The TV screen is blank I stare at the world around me and wonder WTF is the deal why do I hurt why did I hurt her how can I fix things…too many pies that have had my hand in them now lie rarely used on the side of my journey’s road I wanna get to and do all of them at once without my fingers hurting as I type this noise out but fear enters the equation and skews things to ends untold.

I RELEASE YOU, FEAR! Into the world you go to cause pain, terror and anguish to untold billions, with the fraction of a small percentage being able to rise above you and conquer you, make you their lapdog. All others are bound to you, bound in your grip of iron-sulfur pain, the delicate writhings of blood coursing through your veins, on your hands, on your soul. You frighten me and make me sick, for I asked to live in a world without fear, and was denied with a stamp that showed I was found unworthy and sent home to repack my things and get my life in order.

The boxes remain sealed, the drawers remain empty.

No one moves on without moving.

I do miss her still. Wouldst thou leave my thoughts and fly into yonder star? Thine actions would bring great relief to my soul.

I RELEASE YOU, FLAME! Out into the world you go, to live happily on the arm of another, doting, praying, smiling, and dying with the one of your choice, feeling the warm body of love and kindness next to you…something which you were loathe to accept from me. Run toward the yellow-peach light of bounty, pride, forgiveness, and satisfaction—run as fast as you can toward the new day, the sunrise of your life you’ve seen coming when I was timezones behind.

I AM READY, DESTINY! Ready to seize my own future with a deathgrip, willing to abandon myself to the track I was set to follow, and able—through training, experience, and luck—to burn into the mad streetrace of life and pump 900 horsepower of BADASS through my pipes.

Goodbye, fear. I am no longer your puppet.

Goodbye, flame. I wish you the best and wish you no more.

Hello, destiny. I am ready to rock.

I wrote a song last night
The lyrics about them
The people in my life, that
Fill my heart with rippling dissonance.

A verse apiece to salve my mortal wounds.

First, the elders of my soul.
They teach me the bright path of truth,
The one destined for greatness and salvation, early in my youth
Then turn around and slash it to bloody ribbons
In front of my eyes.

Next, the kin and kith.
Those whose eyes looked up to me with trust and admiration
I have failed again, again, again
The bright eyes now tarnished to a dull gleam by age and experience
None too happy, some too sad to mention
All along the watchtower, snipers hold the red dot
On our hearts.

Finally, the fists in velveteen.
One pulls, another pushes, a third sobs in outrage.
They never seem to see the point
I just want to love and be loved.
Are your veils opaque?does beauty make you blind?
Can you not see a good thing when it looks you in the face?
Te amo, te amo, pero por que correamo?

I’ve waited too long to pick the strings
Haven’t listened hard enough to hear the sounds
Of a small cry in the wilderness, saying, “Come home”.